Day 8: The first fall is the hardest

Each time I visit dad in the hospital, I never know if his mood is up or down. Today was most definitely down. As soon as I arrived, nurse E - a very refined male nurse - took me aside. "Your dad has had a little accident." Whaaat? "He had a little fall this morning, but don't worry, we're keeping an eye on him and he is fine."

Dad was most certainly not fine when I talked to him. Early in the morning, he'd taken a pee semi-standing/leaning against his bed. The bottle he'd been given was not the usual one but a shallow one - meant to be used for women in fact. Unused to the bottle, there was some 'splashback' and in attempting to prevent this, he dropped the bottle, panicked, and slipped onto the floor. According to him he lay there - in his own pee - for a while before realising that the call button was nearby. 5 minutes later a few nurses came by, not amused and far from sympathetic.

Dad was most distressed as was I. Luckily he did not bang his head on any sharp corners or break any limbs. His ongoing battle with the night nurses whom he really dislikes translated into never asking for their help. And it should also be remembered that the nurses indeed encouraged a standing/leaning position whilst peeing. Giving him a urine bottle meant for women though was just plain idiotic. I felt very useless because quite simply, who knows what goes on at night on the ward? Dad started begging for a private nurse.

I asked nurse E if he could make sure the night nurses would give the correct bottle to my dad. Nurse E told me they should know. Well obviously they didn't know! Nurse E told me if he said anything, "they will see red and it will be worse". Crikey! What were they? Witches? Nurse E said that stroke patients often fall. They think they can do what they did before, but their balance and strength is all askew. One patient had fallen over 15 times! They really should think about having softer floors, I thought.

I told my mum and brother about the incident. After the initial shock, my mum had to query hiring a private nurse. To just sit and help him pee in the middle of the night? We'd be bankrupt! Dad would just have to learn how to pee whilst lying on his side in the bed.

Later, we took dad out in to the sun. I chatted to the wife of another patient. I'd seen her many times on the ward. She said there were good days and bad days. Having family around for support was a big bonus in recovering. Her husband had now moved to a private room, but to be frank it was extremely dull and unstimulating to be away from the hubbub of the other to-ings and fro-ings in the normal ward.

Dad was in a bit of a rebellious mood in the evening. We were trying to see if he could pee on his side. He wouldn't wear his hearing aid and was not really cooperative. There was spillage and sheets had to be changed.

I fixed up the telephone by his bedside and he seemed to be slightly placated by this line to the outside world