Day 18: Enema hell

Warning: If you're squeamish about poo, don't read this!

This morning, the consultant on his rounds decided to give dad something 'dynamic' for his constipation. He was given an enema which - oh, I don't want to go into the details. Actually I don't know the details and I don't want to know. Suffice to say, the effects can be pretty dramatic.

I arrived to find dad sitting in his chair in his PJs. I reached over to change him. "Don't touch me!" he yelped. "I need to go to the toilet!" The next thing I knew, well there was mess everywhere: on his trousers, stockings, seat, floor... Nurse H (fairly senior) brought over a commode and for the next half hour there was spluttering and moaning of "I'm dying! I'm dying!" All this in front of the other patients, their guest and their physios. The nurse grumbled how she didn't have time to deal with this as she had soooo much paperwork. "Just let him sit there!"

Dad did feel a hell of a lot better after. I helped clean him up and Nurse H brought over a new pair of stockings. In the bay there was also nurse E, merrily eating some grapes. "Come and help me with this," ordered nurse H as she struggled to put the stockings on my dad. [The following conversation should be imagined as spoken in irate African accents].

"I'm on my break," was the reply.

"You're on your break! You already had your break! Come and help me."

"No. I had a short break and now I'm having another short break." [munch, munch].

"You can't even help me for 2 minutes with the patient?!"

Nurse E was not budging. "You!" nurse H cried at me. "Come and help me now!"

Well there is some good news. Dad has been given a provisional discharge date of 2 weeks from now. And he's also been selected for the hand massage survey and will receive 2 hours every day. That's pretty intense, but we can opt out or change whenever we like.

When I returned in the afternoon, dad's bed had been moved yet again. Luckily, he still had the window view but his Patientline TV is bust.

Dad also had a great physio session. He's pracising walking with a stick which ends in 3 legs. Sort of like Marty Crane in Frasier.